CLI.CHÉ

Am not going to cliché write about the popular Nigerian celebrities who recently tore their marriage to shreds on social media or the recent up-rise of the many domestic violence in Nigeria leading to many deaths. If am being honest I wouldn’t even call it an up-rise its basically more of an awareness, one that social media has successfully brought to light.  What bothers me the most is denial: self-denial, oh! its so easy to look on people’s relationship and point out all the stupid things you will never take and at the same time suffer even worse things in your own relationships. Its much easier to segregate yourself from the crowd and act like yours is the perfect life.

The best thing you can do for yourself is be honest, I cant imagine how many times I must have written this on the blog but I will continue to for has long as I keep this blog alive. If you can be totally honest with yourself and confident enough to realise that you are being used or walked-on and bold enough to consider yourself far and above any negativity or sorrow and not accept any form of abuse then you will definitely have a more fulfilling relationship because the person you are in with will know you know your self worth.

Happiness in a relationship is not ready made, it is built on. You don’t go into a relationship to find happiness, you go into a relationship to create your own happiness. For instance how does your friend’s partner buying her a new car measure your partners’ love for you? Why should you measure your love based on other people’s accomplishments? I noticed that people often look over their shoulders at what others are doing for fulfilment in their own relationships. That for me is the major problem and start-point of a dying relationship.

If we all focus on how to improve our lives with our partners and how to maintain constant joy whilst doing so there will be less breakups and more happy marriages. First of, its good to understand why you have chosen to share your life with the person you’re with; is it for your own selfish reasons like not wanting to be alone, the benefits of a good life that the person can render or do you think being with this person will build you just as much as you building them? If you're leaning towards the later then thats a good start. I know I have mentioned numerous times, that its good to have something to offer in a relationship, it’s the only way that love can wax stronger. Everyone should be able to feed on the other not just one person being drained out dry.

The minute one person starts feeling cheated whether by always giving (love, attention, affection, gifts or emotions) and getting nothing in return or being cuckold they need to step back a little and re-evaluation why exactly they are in that relationship. No relationship should be complicated for there is no such thing, except that you are giving much more than you are getting. Like the lyrics in John Meyer’s song ‘friends lovers or nothing” clearly states; Anything other than YES is NO, anything other than STAY is GO, anything less than I LOVE YOU is LYING. So lets stay focused, keep our heads up high and remain calm. X