ThE NeW FrauD SysteM

Gone are the days when people shy away from pregnancy before marriage. Note that I did not say sex before marriage cause that has been even before my mother was born in as much as they may like to deny it. In the past, pregnancy before marriage use to be a fast track to marital life, if a girl was discovered pregnant, that was all it took. There were no tears for being single or finding MR /MRS right as much as we have now, then if you want a husband badly all you needed to do was to get ‘knocked up’. Likewise if she’s too beautiful to resist and you want her trapped up in your house: get her ‘knocked up’. Well times have changed for as we all grow technically, geographically and literally so has every aspect of our lives changed too.

Unfortunately sexually transmitted diseases have grown along side with all of us however this has not stopped millions of people from going ‘bare’. You will think as these sexually transmitted evils creep along side human activities the act of unprotected sex will cease and decease but on the contrary it is quite the opposite. I recently read the most absurd story ever told between a Nigerian artist and his upcoming baby mother.  She claimed she was pregnant for him and displayed her baby bump on social media but he replied her with a record affirming the sex but discrediting the growing child as he only slept with her once. How brilliant! Honestly, African parents really need to start giving some sex education; it will really make these adults less ignorant.

What got to me the most is not the pregnancy claim or the man’s ignorance but the thought of how many other girls he had slept with once with no protection. If you’ve decided to sleep with a girl just once because you know from the onset you have no interest in her at all, why go bare? These guys just go around counting bodies ‘bare-less’, spreading diseases across nations, not fearing for their health nor fearing for their lives. The women on the other hand who are supposed to be the smarter species, although stupid enough to get money through any means for frivolous covetousness have decided to cash in on this, putting the world unto a new fraud system; the baby mama scheme.

The desire for money has grown more intensively than the desire for marriage unlike years before now. Getting pregnant now before marriage is no longer a motivation to get married in itself but a scheme for a better life. However am not sure how that is working out these days. I guess some scammers are more calculating than others, this is not to say that all pregnancies before marriage are based on a motive, as terrible as the world may seem there are still so many honourable and genuine individuals. Though life as we know it is filled with so many thorns in its roses just as there is no scam with low risk, making the one with the highest risk of all the baby scam; with this you literally pay with your life and the life of another, the innocent other.

Women are just so extra in everything we do but what does it matter, we’re bent on getting what we want and it doesn’t even matter whether it is the baby, the money or the marriage. Oh! But the men are catching up real fast on this one, they’ve even created for themselves a counter fraud: the ‘you’re on your own type of fraud’. So the next time you think you want to trap or scam a man and before you spread your legs to diseases and babies, I will suggest you write a fan mail to Blac China.

CLI.CHÉ

Am not going to cliché write about the popular Nigerian celebrities who recently tore their marriage to shreds on social media or the recent up-rise of the many domestic violence in Nigeria leading to many deaths. If am being honest I wouldn’t even call it an up-rise its basically more of an awareness, one that social media has successfully brought to light.  What bothers me the most is denial: self-denial, oh! its so easy to look on people’s relationship and point out all the stupid things you will never take and at the same time suffer even worse things in your own relationships. Its much easier to segregate yourself from the crowd and act like yours is the perfect life.

The best thing you can do for yourself is be honest, I cant imagine how many times I must have written this on the blog but I will continue to for has long as I keep this blog alive. If you can be totally honest with yourself and confident enough to realise that you are being used or walked-on and bold enough to consider yourself far and above any negativity or sorrow and not accept any form of abuse then you will definitely have a more fulfilling relationship because the person you are in with will know you know your self worth.

Happiness in a relationship is not ready made, it is built on. You don’t go into a relationship to find happiness, you go into a relationship to create your own happiness. For instance how does your friend’s partner buying her a new car measure your partners’ love for you? Why should you measure your love based on other people’s accomplishments? I noticed that people often look over their shoulders at what others are doing for fulfilment in their own relationships. That for me is the major problem and start-point of a dying relationship.

If we all focus on how to improve our lives with our partners and how to maintain constant joy whilst doing so there will be less breakups and more happy marriages. First of, its good to understand why you have chosen to share your life with the person you’re with; is it for your own selfish reasons like not wanting to be alone, the benefits of a good life that the person can render or do you think being with this person will build you just as much as you building them? If you're leaning towards the later then thats a good start. I know I have mentioned numerous times, that its good to have something to offer in a relationship, it’s the only way that love can wax stronger. Everyone should be able to feed on the other not just one person being drained out dry.

The minute one person starts feeling cheated whether by always giving (love, attention, affection, gifts or emotions) and getting nothing in return or being cuckold they need to step back a little and re-evaluation why exactly they are in that relationship. No relationship should be complicated for there is no such thing, except that you are giving much more than you are getting. Like the lyrics in John Meyer’s song ‘friends lovers or nothing” clearly states; Anything other than YES is NO, anything other than STAY is GO, anything less than I LOVE YOU is LYING. So lets stay focused, keep our heads up high and remain calm. X 

Am coming home

I just want to say am really sorry for taking almost a year to write again on this blog. I know I do this too often than not but from the last time I wrote here, there has been so much going on in my life although overall when I count my blessings the good surpasses the bad. So I can only bless God.  It’s a bit hard for me to write when am very happy, its also very hard to write when am very sad. I always have to be either just happy or just sad and since last year there really hasn’t been that in-between in my life. I've gone straight from very happy to very sad so quick much too many times during these past year that the year has 'bolted' past me in a flash.

Before the end of the year I will share some of my journeys with you but for now be in expectation of a post before the end of this week. Stay blessed.

Its also no surprise by now that the name of the blog has changed. I had no underlining reason for doing that then simply opting for a more refined title.