What’s love got to do with it???

If you ask a couple with an obvious gap in age difference how they balance their love life to merge their ages
considering the difference they all have a standard answer ‘age is just a number’ and love breaks all barriers. From others stand point ‘love becomes blind’ but is love really blind? And does love really break all barriers? Love has escalated through the years from mere emotional attachments to benefits in the long run. These days love is just not enough. The real definition of love is ending up with who benefits you the most. Trust me the game of marriage for benefits is no longer one sided, the men are actually leading the race and have remained on the forefront for a while now.

For many who are single and always wonder why the rich marry the rich or how their once loving ex dumped them to marry the rich man’s kid the answer lays not in your capability of keeping a man but on future benefits. marriage these days seems more calculated than love struck, am not saying people no longer love in marriage or that there are no pure genuinety in walking down the aisle because come to think of it, if you’re getting all you desire from a person, you’re bound to love them and remain a pathological lover until something goes wrong and the benefits are no longer there.

There was a time yahoo boys were the happening guys in town and you see a guy who may not have been
able to open his mouth to speak a hot chick 3months ago marrying the same girl. At that time the girl is hot hot hot for him because he is dotting and providing all her needs. Of course he is head over heels for her; he cannot believe his luck. At that moment he believes she has fallen deeply too and so it’s a marriage of infatuation and provision. Problem now is a lot of these girls are stuck in that situation. The yahoo business has packed up, the provisions have become little to nothing, now saddled with 2-3kids and a husband she finds very irritating. The man has now realised what a terrible bit**h his wife have become, he has no money and now spends more of his time drinking with his boys than being at home; that is one failed mis-calculated love.

In another instance you see rich kids marrying rich kids and you just assume well it’s who they know, those are the people around them of course they are bound to fall in love.  Back in the days people used marriages to strengthen alliance and maintain or top up family wealth. That old blood still flows through our veins.  The truth of the matter is the rich want to get richer and never want to lack things they never quite lacked before. I personally have so many friends that come from very wealthy homes and I can tell you their greatest fear is not remaining single but marrying a man who may not be able to maintain their current lifestyle. Come to think of it, it’s got to be hard; no one weighs love and comfort more than the rich and often time they end with comfort. Am an advocate of choosing who you love, I have never believed in love at first sight, that my dear is infatuation and it fades or often times end up badly.  I cannot say you don’t connect with people at first sight because I would be lying as I felt a very strong connection with my husband the very first day I saw him. Even with that, I was bent on not having anything to do with him, if not for his persistence and resilience it would have been a different story. 

So when you see two people who are worlds apart getting together you often wonder what happens. What happened is they were bold enough to wear on their faces what we secretly wear in our hearts and the  conviction of that truth make us very uncomfortable.  There is nothing wrong in searching the future with who you are dating, life is a calculated risk so is marriage and if you think your partner has not weighed their options with you then you are in self-denial.  So long as everyone is happy; you are happy with what is being taken from you and you are happy with what you’re being given, it’s a give and take situation and the only type of marriage that does not work is not the one based on love or the one based on no love but the one that one person is giving and the other is taking. Am sure you wonder sometimes what a 26year old woman  can possibly give a 67 year old man. Let me answer the question; her youth!  That in itself is already too much, no amount of money or good living can fill that vacuum because from the day they hook up her life is no longer surrounded by her peers but by 3 generations ahead of her, that can’t be easy. So as she is enjoying his money, he is living his mid-life crises through her. 

Love is not easy, it comes with a lot of brain work and cost/benefit analysis and often times people who don’t take these into consideration end up being cheated in love. So this week I leave you with this, let the brain work begin but always remember; before you make you decision to love, there has to be something of benefit you are bringing to the relationship for your partner. Until then, have a most fabulous week.