TOO INTERESTED TO STAY INVOLVED

Terrence Howard pointed out on one of his tracks that ‘in every relationship there is this factor of least interest involved, meaning the person least interested maintaining it will dominate it ‘cause they won’t compromise’. That statement rang true when I was watching one of MTV’s reality shows ‘being Ryan’ following the life of a young 18year skateboard pro ‘Ryan’.  Ryan, after dreaming of the perfect girl finally got her and started his first ever relationship but then it all got too much for him and he broke it off. Her flaw? She was too interested and put in much more than he did into making their relationship work and instead of compromising or reciprocating, he broke it off.  His excuse? He was too young to start thinking about how to keep her as happy as she kept him; more or less. So it ended in the most famous relationship break-up cliché; it’s not you, it’s me…I don’t deserve you...you’re too good for me. I say bullshit, you’re just not interested. 

How interested is too interested? You may think you are mature, you don’t play games, you know what you want and you go for it. News flash; the world is full of sorrowful people and the heart of man is naturally evil. It takes only the brave to receive in good faith kindness for no reason. When you’re extremely good to another individual put aside lovers for now, they become scared and they start to wonder what it is you truly want. The average human heart wants something in return for anything they give. So if you’re giving and giving and still giving, you will put the other party on edge. Back to lovers; this is why you shouldn’t put all your cards on the table at once; it scares your lover away, if you claim to be as mature as you proclaim you would know that you should always give your lover little enough for he/she to want more so that he /she don’t get bored too quickly and so that they long to know what more you have in store.

I have painfully witnessed a lot of very good guys get turned down over and over again not because of anything but the fact that they are 'too good'. This statement should not be misconstrued, am not saying you shouldn’t be good, all I am saying is there is time for everything. There are some things you’re not obliged to do at the start of any relationship, always give time and space enough for the other person to appreciate you. For instance why would a girl miss you when you never stop calling, texting, visiting, face-booking, skyping, emailing, re-tweeting her tweets, liking her instagram pictures, yahoo messaging her, all in one day? Unfortunately, when she starts avoiding you, you go into you mood and start acting the victim, disturbing her with questions like 'why do good girls like bad boys'? She doesn’t give a hoot about why good girls like bad boys… she just wants to breathe, is that ok with you?  It’s like everywhere she turns, you are there, be easy with it, let her fall smoothly into the comfort of your company.

It is also really sad when girls have it all wrapped up in their heads that they are ‘wife material’ and therefore all they live for is act out the wife role. Why? Does it make any sense acting wife when you are still single with no boyfriend? Are you trying to jump before you scrawl? To make it even worse all the friends you classify ‘whore material’ are getting married everyday leaving you brawling with tears each time you open your Facebook page. It’s a wonder how you the wife have not quite gotten to being the wife yet. Why would you meet a guy today and start selling yourself like you are on the money market? In your thirty minutes conversation, he already knows you are a fantastic cook, all the outing you do is church outing, you refuse to have many friends as you claim they influence you, you are clean to a fault and the market is your favourite sports centre. Next day you’re cooking in his kitchen, before he comes back from the local shop down the road, you have wiped his house clean, re-arranged his living room, set his table ready for food. Who told you there was a wife job opening at his house? The truth is it’s not being superwoman that qualifies you good enough to be his wife. I know a few women who don’t even cook and they are married happily, you enter some women’s houses and you can’t even find a place to sit because they are so untidy but they are happily married. Now you can cook, clean and look fly all at the same time but you also have to remember, little drops of water make a mighty ocean.

In a relationship, you are not out to impress anybody, taking it one stride at a time, enjoying it while it last and not giving all yourself all at once is what makes it work.  You should always live some in the bag for insurance purposes, that reservoir will save you a spot on the wagon that will journey you down the aisle.