WHEN YOU’RE TOO STUCK IN LOVE TO LET IT GO

The most comment I got from my last post was ‘easier written than done’ more or less. The truth is everything you put your mind to you can do. Am not claiming to be strong but I know one thing for certain, I love myself too much to stay in misery for the rest of my life and so should you. I remember when I was broken-hearted I had never witnessed anything of that sort in my life prior to that, the pain was ‘frigging’ unbearable but I bore it enough not to go back to my ex, I did not stop crying for eighteen months even in the midst of him begging, his mum still calling, his step dad speaking with me, I knew if I go back, I would get trapped and trapped was the last thing I wanted for myself. He tried to get back for four years and for four years I couldn’t just allow myself to be roped in. Don’t get yourself roped, you will find the love that is just for you.

Everybody is replaceable

And that includes you  so have that at the back of your mind the next time someone tries to play you for a fool because of all the love you have to give, get out quick before you become webbed and too tangled to cut yourself off. No matter how hard it might be, you just have to do this for yourself, there’s a truth to the saying ‘time heals all wound’.  Irrespective of what you programmed your mind to think-you choose who you love. The only unconditional love is the love of God to his people, not even your family, as a lot of people actually fall out of love with certain family members and only accommodate them because they feel it is the right thing to do. So if you chose to fall in love with anyone, you most definitely have the power to fall out of love with them as you choose. Although the most worrying situation for me is how you still believe you’re in love with someone who clearly has no regard for your love anyhow.

You don’t have to stay with someone that makes you cry

If you find yourself crying yourself to sleep every other night don’t you think it is time for you to leave that relationship? Or you have a boyfriend you’re too scared to call because you don’t know how he would react? Or you’re in a relationship you have no clue on how to define?  When a guy rates you highly in his heart, you wouldn’t need anyone to convince you about him, he obviously will be all over you. Am not talking in the first 2months after you meet am talking after 7months and above because in as much as you lie to yourself that he is head over heels for you in the first two months of your meeting, everyone feels that way. Those months don’t count, that is the honeymoon/get in your knickers period. For you; you’re daydreaming of love, affection and romance, for him; he just wants to get into your knickers and see if it’s really worth the chase. I have friends who say that they never know if they want to be with a girl until they have gotten into her pants (different strokes for different folks). The two to three months of your dating is the most important period of your time together. You should never get carried away with honeymooning and lose all your guard. To be brutally honest with you, all men approach you with a one track mind; sex, it now depends on you to show him a side of you that he may love to get to know better (a beautiful woman to a man is like a rich man to a woman). 

Why

If you’re talking about sex positions on your third date and sexting by your fifth date what exactly do you expect his anticipation would be? When you’re busy nursing his sexual appetite why wouldn’t he die to see you every day till he hits that? You’ve left his brain thinking of nothing else but that thing in between your thighs. He has no ear for whatever you’re saying, he would constantly change topics back to sexual matters and then you get frustrated but you don’t really mind because so far he has been ticking all your buttons. So when you eventually give it to him and he starts acting funny the confusion starts, he gains control. He doesn’t call for a week or two and you eat up his excuses cause you’re too desperate to let go and now he continues to push the boundaries further to see what and what not he could get away with. Ladies you need to take control on how your conversation should go, if you want something real then talk about real issues am sure he has a lot of interesting things to discuss aside from his burning torso you will be surpirse to learn.

This time of your life is very crucial.

When a man doesn’t pick your calls and calls after a week, treat him like the stranger he has chosen to be he doesn’t owe you any apologies because as far as you are concerned, he is a stranger sex or not. You are woman, tap into your inner strength, you will be surprised to note that you can get anything you want with a small display of  strength. This means no abuses, no insults, just well no worries but you have to point out to him how rude it was for him to ignore your calls only to call back after a week or more. Be sure to pick up his calls but don’t go out of your way to meet up with him and a lot of the time decline his offer to take you out, he just might be offering out of boredom judging from the fact that he disappeared for over a week. Never be too scared to say no, you are a woman, men will always come after you, he wasn’t the first and he wouldn’t be the last, you don’t have anything to lose and he can never be the best you will have. Moreover you should never allow a man to stop chasing you until he marries you, it is amazing how much more you get back onces you learn to let go.