What you give is just what you Get

I know it hasn’t hit you yet so let me break it down for you, isn’t it a trip that most of the respectable women are still out there searching for a man to cling on to? These women have it all going for them, they can handle their car, house, spa and travel bills just fine without your help, thank you very much. Could there be something these women are not doing? Could it be something they all have in common that puts them all in the same situation? I say YES and they come in two categories.

The I can tell my onions from my suya kind of women...category

Like Erykah Badu sang on her ‘on and on’ track…a man that knows something knows that he knows nothing at all. Unfortunately for women in this category, they know everything. Before you approach them they know you were checking them out and they don’t mind telling you that because they’re also very outspoken. They know you only want to use them like every other woman you have dealt with in the past and they mince no words telling you that but before you end your conversation with them, they make you aware that they are different and different is how you must treat them.  

This is why you will remain single...

If you fall in the onion from suya category, you just made yourself vulnerable enough for anyone to penetrate into your psyche and made it easier for hungry men who just want to eat you out to get what they want; no need for further research on what scheme to trick you with. Most men don’t know how to deal with whoever they are about to approach but as they are natural hunters, they go for it anyway and hope for luck from your attitude and character to guide them through. With all the information you have just given whoever it is that approached you, he need not stress no more on what tune to play to get you dancing to the rhythm and got bored from saying hello; men actully like the chase, it keeps them interested. So now he treats you like a lady, he takes you out to fancy places, he talks ‘hard talk’ with you, he may even throw in a holiday trip to somewhere, he is extra careful around you because he knows you’re watching and for that reason he is out doing himself to be sure he gets you drawling senselessly. Its like having an exam to write and the examiner telling you all the answers 2weeks before the paper; why would you bother studying? You wouldn’t study and you will never get to fall in love with the subject because you were never given the chance to. Your know all attitude has given him the requirements to get into your pants and  has cost you a life time commitment from him. You will be glad to know that without you even noticing, you set up his game plan for him.

The I know what I want and I go for it, am a grown woman kind of women...category

No one is arguing with you that you don’t know what you want, of course you do, isn’t that why you are still single? Unfortunately this has made you appear cheap more than once because you give it all in one go. Isn’t it funny how all the men you want don’t want you back and all the other ones you don’t want are dying to have you? Women! It is time to sit back, rethink and set up a proper chart on the difference between what you want and what you need. If maintaining a relationship was based on being able to handle your own and being super smart in knowing what you want, by now you should have had 3 beautiful kids, a huge house by the lake and the most loving husband ever created but it isn’t so you need to reframe your understanding of it all. You just cannot dive whole into a man’s arms just because he approached you and you like what you see because you are not the only woman who has eyes, every other single woman can see too, you need to stand out.

This is why you will remain single...

Like Lauren Hill sang on her ‘that thing’ track to begin…you give it up so easy you ain’t even fooling him…if you did it then, then you’ll probably do it again. Note that that phisolosphy is what most men operate on. Sure they understand that you know what you want so its better to get it over and done with and move on...but is that what you really want? You meet a man and because of all the superficials you can see, you quickly assume he is ‘the one’ and you want him and because you are a grown ass woman, and don’t play around, you go straight to the point. That point has got you humping in bed with every man you meet faster than a rocket launch. What exactly do you know about this man that got you wetting your pants? Nothing! As educated and smart as you are, you still cannot tell the difference between a good man and a good looking man? Or do you think he was never aware of how good looking he was till he met you? He probably had a good shag the night before you met with some girl he met 3days before you and you are looking like the next person to warm his bed. This kind of attitude would never get you a man. It will only help you get pounded on a regular, except that is what you want. 

What you need is to chill, take time to know a person and find out if his qualities are what you need, Rome wasn’t built in a day, the joy in any lasting relationship is discovering beautiful surprises with each passing day. Be easy, stop believing that all the men who get to know you are intimated by you independance and therefore are too scared to be in a committed realtionship with you. For every successful, beautiful and single woman, there is another woman round the corner more successful and more beautiful who actually has a man. If everyman around you has a problem, it is high time you check yourself and do some re-adjustements and repackaging, only then would you get all the fulfilments your heart so desires, until then, stay happy and loyal to only yourself.