He’s her man now…Not yours, get over it.

So what you dated for 6years broke up and 3months later he’s getting married. Apparently you weren’t good enough or so it seems. You spend endless hours looking through her Facebook pictures and going back and forth to the mirror to compare yourself…your breast, your ass, your belly, your face and finally, you conclude…you are far more of a ‘looker’ than she ever will be.  Well true spotting except now she has ’your’ man. 

Haven’t we all seen books on how to keep a man, how to make a man propose, how to get a man and how to make a man yours forever?  They are everywhere streaming from the internet to television and magazines. All the tips on dos and don’ts they are on every street corner stand, on every pop-up and on your twitter time-line.  None of these books prepare you for what you are about to experience during a shattering heartbreak. What I would like is to see a book that give women tips on what type tissue to buy, which mascara to wear that wouldn’t run (because believe me that pain is going to make you cry every 5mins irrespective of where you are) or if the sugar content in ben and jerry ice-cream would tickle your taste buds enough for you to forget your heartbreak issue for a minute (literarily).

If you get tempted so much so that you want to call him…Don’t.’ It will only increase your pain because no matter how much you psych yourself up that he will be miserable without you, he is actually happy you will be surprise to know. Don’t pretend you need closure, He getting engage to someone shortly after your breakup is all the closure you need… wouldn’t you agree?  The dude has moved on and that is exactly what you should be doing, get out your dairies and note pads and dive into that dream you kept on the shelve while making him your dream and no matter how bizarre this sounds am going to say it anyway; never stop dating, not even for one moment. 

She’s not better than you, no one can be, she just happens to be what he wants. Not forgetting that time matters a lot to men as well. That could have been a factor...it just wasn’t the right timing for both of you and maybe he didn’t know how to tell you the relationship was too comfortable and boring. Let’s face it, when you stay in a place for too long, you get too comfortable and then bored especially when you had no business being there in the first place. By the way he was never your man, as long as you haven’t signed any documents and made any vows under any religious oath, everyone is free lancing so get over it and repackage yourself.

Three tips on getting over a broken heart

Believe in yourself

Pamper yourself

Be selfish enough to make sure that you remain happy at all times, (and like Jill Scott said; ‘There’s just me’…in this case ‘you’) focus on you, you, you, you and only you and never make any excuse to putting a smile upon your face. Your life is brilliant, you are your own happiness and have not a doubt in your heart that you're anything short of a dime.