Tuesday, 27 November 2012

I was reading a while back and the issue of money in relationship was the primary subject so I thought to shed my own light on the matter but before I start I’ll say this, if money is an issue in your relationship it will break you. There are several reasons why two individuals of the same class work well in a relationship, the most important reason is money matter coupled with so many others such as common interest, education (study and horizon), and etc. Money has a huge effect on the turn out of your relationship, it will either break you or make you, no in between. So please leave your comments, it encourages me to know that you’re reading which is every writer's dream and I know you’re reading, I see a lot of regulars on my traffic all the time. Leave a comment, encourage me to encourage you.




In as much as men like to carter, they also do not want to feel like they are being used. In truth, I have never come across women believing that once a man takes interest in getting to know them the spending should start rolling like in Nigerian women. It is so bad that a man’s spending determines his level of interest and a lot of men take advantage of this, they go straight to the spending so they can have quick access to the panties, so if you make a man spend so much on you, be ready to give him what he has paid for. A lot of women in Nigeria live their lives based on the logic that a man must spend and I think that is one of the reasons why so many people are single today, male/female.
If he is not your husband, then limit your spending antics to your father, quit asking for things your father cannot provide you from a man who is not your father’s age. Imagine how long it took your father to get to have the amount of wealth he has and compare it to the age of the man you’re dating. Why then do you ask ridiculously for things the major male character in your life cannot provide?


I understand the fact that two fingers are not equal and in actual fact, some people are born with a silver spoon so this illustration might be flawed but at the same time, it is the idea surrounding it that you should concentrate more on. Don’t act like you have a sole right to your boyfriend pocket when he is not yet your husband, he doesn’t have to, unless he chooses to. He has a choice and whatever choice he makes should not determine how your relationship is run. You may narrow it down to you cooking and cleaning and going to his house from time to time to do his laundry therefore he shouldn’t have a problem with picking up your bills whenever you have one but it was your choice to do all these things, so if you’re not a maid, don’t expect to get paid. The sex is not even valid point enough for him to pick up your bills because it takes two to consent to love making, therefore stop putting a claim on your private part as he did not rape you and you are not a common prostitute expecting payment. If it is a conscious act, you both have equal right to the enjoyment of it.


Money is one issue that everyone feels sensitive about especially women. It is easy for women to receive and ask for money from their men but once the table is flipped then the problem starts, the notion of your money is ours and mine is mine has broken so many relationships today. A relationship is a partnership of two and so should it be run…like a partnership. There is nothing wrong in contributing even if it is the smallest contribution of say for instance; paying for the drinks after he has paid for the cinema tickets and popcorn, it gives you good practice on how to run your future home. If you start with that, you will see that when you eventually get married and chips are down, it wouldn’t be that difficult and frustrating to help out, it will most likely allow your home function normally and healthily with no strains based on the change in situation. 


In relationships where the woman is the one with the money, you should never forget your responsibilities as a man.  A lot of women don’t mind spending on their men but if you have no limit on how often you ask for funds from your lady then there is a problem. First you show no shame as a man and second you gradually give her the sole title of the head in your relationship and here is where the problem starts. If your woman is gradually becoming head, don’t expect her to still remain submissive to you, after all the only party that needs to be submitted to is the head so she earned the right. As a man that you claim to be, you need to be familiar with hunting and fishing ropes, you have to hunt in other to put food on your woman’s table, if your woman is the one doing all the hunting on your behalf then what exactly is your worth and contribution to your relationship?


Judging that you don’t do the cleaning, you don’t do the cooking, you don’t do the child bearing and you don’t hunt, then you are utterly useless. She might as well get a dildo for sex and TV sitcoms for company, a woman who provides solely for her man is an unfulfilled woman and that relationship is already strained. She will constantly seek for change for a better man and that is when your relationship starts heading down-hill. This might be biased but I’ll type it again; couples who are on the same or with not so much gap on the financial level often work out much better because as much as we all try to ignore it and be in self- denial of it; finance matters ‘A LOT’ in a relationship. If you don’t believe me, ask a man who is struggling financially married to a woman from a wealthy family, love may just not be enough. Couples stand a better chance growing an empire together than moving into your partner’s empire: they are already lord and master of their castle and you cannot pull a king/queen of a kingdom down…that is treason and historians will tell you that treason is punishable by death and death alone. Hence! The death of your relationship.

Friday, 9 November 2012

What you give is just what you Get



I know it hasn’t hit you yet so let me break it down for you, isn’t it a trip that most of the respectable women are still out there searching for a man to cling on to? These women have it all going for them, they can handle their car, house, spa and travel bills just fine without your help, thank you very much. Could there be something these women are not doing? Could it be something they all have in common that puts them all in the same situation? I say YES and they come in two categories.


The I can tell my onions from my suya kind of women...category
Like Erykah Badu sang on her ‘on and on’ track…a man that knows something knows that he knows nothing at all. Unfortunately for women in this category, they know everything. Before you approach them they know you were checking them out and they don’t mind telling you that because they’re also very outspoken. They know you only want to use them like every other woman you have dealt with in the past and they mince no words telling you that but before you end your conversation with them, they make you aware that they are different and different is how you must treat them.  


This is why you will remain single...
If you fall in the onion from suya category, you just made yourself vulnerable enough for anyone to penetrate into your psyche and made it easier for hungry men who just want to eat you out to get what they want; no need for further research on what scheme to trick you with. Most men don’t know how to deal with whoever they are about to approach but as they are natural hunters, they go for it anyway and hope for luck from your attitude and character to guide them through. With all the information you have just given whoever it is that approached you, he need not stress no more on what tune to play to get you dancing to the rhythm and got bored from saying hello; men actully like the chase, it keeps them interested. So now he treats you like a lady, he takes you out to fancy places, he talks ‘hard talk’ with you, he may even throw in a holiday trip to somewhere, he is extra careful around you because he knows you’re watching and for that reason he is out doing himself to be sure he gets you drawling senselessly. Its like having an exam to write and the examiner telling you all the answers 2weeks before the paper; why would you bother studying? You wouldn’t study and you will never get to fall in love with the subject because you were never given the chance to. Your know all attitude has given him the requirements to get into your pants and  has cost you a life time commitment from him. You will be glad to know that without you even noticing, you set up his game plan for him.


The I know what I want and I go for it, am a grown woman kind of women...category
No one is arguing with you that you don’t know what you want, of course you do, isn’t that why you are still single? Unfortunately this has made you appear cheap more than once because you give it all in one go. Isn’t it funny how all the men you want don’t want you back and all the other ones you don’t want are dying to have you? Women! It is time to sit back, rethink and set up a proper chart on the difference between what you want and what you need. If maintaining a relationship was based on being able to handle your own and being super smart in knowing what you want, by now you should have had 3 beautiful kids, a huge house by the lake and the most loving husband ever created but it isn’t so you need to reframe your understanding of it all. You just cannot dive whole into a man’s arms just because he approached you and you like what you see because you are not the only woman who has eyes, every other single woman can see too, you need to stand out.


This is why you will remain single...
Like Lauren Hill sang on her ‘that thing’ track to beginyou give it up so easy you ain’t even fooling him…if you did it then, then you’ll probably do it again. Note that that phisolosphy is what most men operate on. Sure they understand that you know what you want so its better to get it over and done with and move on...but is that what you really want? You meet a man and because of all the superficials you can see, you quickly assume he is ‘the one’ and you want him and because you are a grown ass woman, and don’t play around, you go straight to the point. That point has got you humping in bed with every man you meet faster than a rocket launch. What exactly do you know about this man that got you wetting your pants? Nothing! As educated and smart as you are, you still cannot tell the difference between a good man and a good looking man? Or do you think he was never aware of how good looking he was till he met you? He probably had a good shag the night before you met with some girl he met 3days before you and you are looking like the next person to warm his bed. This kind of attitude would never get you a man. It will only help you get pounded on a regular, except that is what you want. 

What you need is to chill, take time to know a person and find out if his qualities are what you need, Rome wasn’t built in a day, the joy in any lasting relationship is discovering beautiful surprises with each passing day. Be easy, stop believing that all the men who get to know you are intimated by you independance and therefore are too scared to be in a committed realtionship with you. For every successful, beautiful and single woman, there is another woman round the corner more successful and more beautiful who actually has a man. If everyman around you has a problem, it is high time you check yourself and do some re-adjustements and repackaging, only then would you get all the fulfilments your heart so desires, until then, stay happy and loyal to only yourself.