The truth untold

Happy New Year to you all, it’s been so long. I pray we see many more years to come. With each New Year we have new resolutions and quite a few backlogs that we wish to accomplish before the new year runs out. A lot of singles in their mid-twenties put marriage and love at the top of their list. Although it is worrying in what order this is placed. Is it love before marriage, marriage before love or just marriage...forget love? I have a feeling love may even be thrown out completely but here is my little take on the matter. Love still exists, not the fairy tale Cinderella type love but the realistic one. The one you work for, the one you work with and the one you try all your possible best to maintain.

The absence of these three is what makes love non-existing, I believe in love but I do not believe in love at first sight, to me that’s just plain lust. As fair as it is for you to wish for a knight in all white suit, white horse and a shiny armour, it is also fair for you not just to package yourself to become Cinderella for your prince charming but to actually be Cinderella. Bottom line, if you want prince charming;  be Cinderella, and not one of the step sisters who pretend to be Cinderella. For in the end, you will be caught out and cut off that wonderful life you dreamed to live.  Life is give and take and if you’re expecting to take, please give first, love at first sight is lust and a fallacy and as Eve was made out of the ribs of Adam so were you formed out of your future husband to be his helper and companion. What good is it for a man to find you when you are in bad shape? If you want to be a queen, be ready to be Queen Elizabeth because that’s your ambition and not his. 

In as much as men have terrible reputations for breaking hearts and telling lies it takes you for a man to show true love. Men are built for hunt and women are built to be captured, it is the natural order of things. Truth is men seek love harder than women actually do and that is why they run through so many women before they eventually settle for ‘the one’. Ladies, first impression last longer than any other impression, you cannot dress and dance like a striper and expect a man to see you as the wife he wants to introduce to his mother; in his head he only has one wish and that is to have you give him a lap dance. So if he’s hounding you and texting you and sexting you, he wants his lap dance. Same goes to meeting a guy for the first time and acting so rigid and all business like; he will treat you like a business contract and set a target and goal for it. That takes away from the fun and interest of actually getting to know you, it becomes more of a mission and once that mission is accomplished, it’s on to the next one.

That is not to say when you eventually settle with the one you had your eyes on you should settle for a sick dude. I say sick because there are so many ways in which a man can use to torture you. I mentioned on another post that some men weirdly enough do not know if they really love you until they have sex with you. So whether it is 6months or 2days you wait their true self will come out. A friend of a friend decided she’ll wait before marriage to give it to her man, after the traditional wedding she gave it to him and that was the last she heard of him, even in the bible Absalom was madly in love with his half-sister until he eventually raped her after which he hated her much more than initially loved her. only settle for a man that respects you, one that corrects you with love, one that you can learn from and a make that carries you along every step of the way. Bottom line is sex is not a guarantee for love so don’t base love on lust and never mistake the one for the other.