YOU DROPPED YOUR DIAMOND AND PICKED UP A NICKLE...

You just got smoked! I mean now that the mists is clearing from your face you realise your ex-girlfriend was actually the one for you, the only difference is you are now married to another.

Some men too get carried away easily and in as much as we presume them to be better judges on where their happiness lies (partly due to the fact that the progression of the relationship into marriage is left solely to them); they do make blunders  sometimes too. Women have become more desperate that their craft in deceiving men into believing they are the ultimate has seriously improved. So now you are sitting at a lounge sipping on a glass of something with your friends and secretly dreading getting up to go home, for what was once your dream is now your worst nightmare.

You need to be more careful when choosing your bride most especially if she is one that successfully snatched you from your previous very committed relationship. If she’s capable of doing that, then believe she is capable of doing anything. You may try to convince yourself that you were never really in love with your ex but also remember that in as much as you weren’t ‘in love’ as you gladly put it, you didn’t notice until the other woman came into your life and everything changed and before you knew it, you met the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh. Isn’t it mysterious to you how now that bone has become the thorn in your swollen flesh?

Agreed! Your ex changed down the line; she wasn’t acting fully committed no more, she became too relaxed and was not paying much attention to her body like she did when you first met so you got bored. Now let’s go back in time; when you met initially you use to take her out very often and she had so many reasons to pay close attention to how she looked but you gradually stopped and your fun places turned into football games with the guys (which she eventually got tired of), weddings (which initially gave her high hopes of getting married and eventual depression when you weren’t saying anything on that line). When you met; you didn’t have any problems with her make-up, her choice of weave and her dress-code but along the line her makeup now became too much for you, why she spends so much on weave you often complained and why her skirt was too short you muttered. So in an attempt to please you, she gradually withered away.

Men you have to take time out to actually think and decide on what you really want, take note that there is a thin line between flexing your ego and taking a true stand on what tickles your fancy. There is no sense in giving your woman set rules to abide to and then going ahead to flirt and have a fling with another woman who abhors all those pet-peeves you claim to have. How can you hate Brazilian weave so much on your girl and the girl that catches your eyes outside first is the one sporting the longest inch? Does it make any sense to even you? You don’t have to make these things up to see how far your strength can go with your woman,  only to eventually find her unattractive. Just be true to yourself and she will see you as more man than any other, it will save you from making awful decisions.

So now you are married to the next girl, the one that captured your heart and captivated your spirits, the one that you stopped picking your exs' calls for, the one that got you lying and stuttering more often than a speech impaired. She was love at first sight though you had to battle with the guilt of lying to your then girl initially but that guilt slowly faded away and was replaced with a burden you had to off-load 'fast' because this girl was everything you ever wanted. She was fly, smart, witty, sociable, fun and hard-working, more like everything your girl was 4 years ago. This is it, this is what you have been looking for you say to yourself, she reminds you of your girl and when you fell in love with her and so you decide you want this for the rest of your life. Do you now have it for the rest of your life? No! Because once you got in deep enough to let your ex go and marry this one, your ego started playing tricks on you again but unfortunately for you this time; you married a crazy one and she just isn’t having that.

Therefore you need to be more careful and true to yourself…there is nothing like your happiness, you have to focus on what makes you happy and be careful not to get too carried away with displaying power, it is this that truly tears most relationships apart. Don’t be too scared to show your soft side to your woman, she is your woman and trust me, it makes you more man to her than you will ever imagine, after all we are all human.