GoodBye.

Goodbye may be the saddest word you think you’ll ever hear but goodbye could be the one word that may save your happiness. Those who follow my blog will know now that happiness is all I preach. Long-time fulfilment in any relationship you are in and you will also learn that gaining that happiness is to not compromise your actual joy for the ‘idea’ of happiness. Staying in a painful relationship for four years long just because he was prince charming in the first year and a half of you dating and hoping that you can change him is the greatest mirth you can ever hoax yourself with. If are not in a marriage, what exactly are you holding on to and for? Here’s a man that has cheated more than once, slapped you in the face at least three times and guilt tripped you forty times in one year. My question is what is your idea of happiness; Eighteen months of romance and thirty months of battery; emotional or otherwise?

A lot of people will say love is the strangest thing because when you’re in love there are no limits to what you can take or do, contrary to what you already know to be wrong or right love. The greatest love that should ever be should be love for yourself (love your neighbour as you love yourself, not love yourself as you love your neighbour: so put yourself first). You might look in the mirror and admire yourself on a daily basis but deep down, thinking about it, do you really love yourself? Do you love yourself well enough to make sure that you don’t hurt your heart? Do you love yourself enough not to be an emotional wreck? Do you love yourself enough to make sure that you guarantee yourself true happiness? Not the kind that you show people in public but in-doors you’re a saddest but the kind of love strong enough to seek truth and pull out of that broken relationship? Or would you just wallow in it because it looks good from the outside and no one will notice the dark circles under your eyes? Putting other people’s happiness before your own doesn’t make you kind and sweet as you have made yourself belief, it will only make you miserable and in tears. 

Looking around and about a lot of individuals fall for the’ idea’ of what they think happiness should be and put their ‘actual’ happiness in jeopardy. I spoke to a friend recently and apparently ‘marriage’ for her was ideal happiness not minding if whoever proposing was someone she could love for eternity of even live happily with. In a nutshell that was what was gathered from the whole conversation. I immediately felt more sad than sorry for her because here was someone trying to put her whole life into a belief that will quickly fade as soon as the ‘I dos’ are said. The ‘idea of love’ sells much more than love itself, the flowers, the candles, the cant sleep at night because I miss you, taking you on a holiday and proposing. Yes that’s sweet, but after all the paparazzi what’s left? What’s the communication like? Are you on the same wave length? Is someone feeling used and the other abused? It’s good that we practice some of what we see on romantic comedies however if your lover is not your friend then you are in for ‘unhappy ever after’ because when the paparazzi flashlights go dim it’s you and your other half alone in the dark, no cameras, no flashlights no actions, just the both of you with no movie scenes to play role in.  

Understood that we are all different individuals coming and going through different walks of life but when your relationship is more of ‘master and slave ship’ than of ‘relating with each other in one common ship’ with a common ground and mutual respect balance then someone is eating of the fat cow while the other is begging for crumbs and that’s going to be one rocking ride with a destination that will numb your spirit. A lot of tyrants hide behind religious curtains to bend the submission rule, forgetting that before submission is mentioned love was at the forefront. They cut straight to the ‘wives submit to your husbands’ part and forget to show love. Love is not providing for your family, that is ‘duty’, love is to respect and to hold in high esteem at all times. If you find yourself feeling cheated and slighted in your relationship and knowing fully well in your heart that you are more sad than happy irrespective of what others might say or think, then your need to change course and navigate your happiness. Suicide is not the way out; it will only mean you died unhappy and trust me, you don’t hate yourself that much, unless except you think you do and am telling you now…you don’t.